Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
