eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
