Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will pee on everything he values.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
