I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
