i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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