i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
