walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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