after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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