its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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