so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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