doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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