Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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