I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
