I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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