doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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