You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she told me i tasted like america
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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