We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
