Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
