Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
