Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
