It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
