If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
