Already got asked if we're dating
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
