I got chris browned last night
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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