how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
barbara walters just said penis...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
