I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
