Dual....:-)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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