Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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