I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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