I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
