I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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