you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Randomize
