oh god the rape fog is back!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
