FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
