break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
