That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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