im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
