..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
