just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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