She announced her abortion via fbk
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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