You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
