I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
