I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
