Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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