Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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