I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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