The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
