I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
