what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
