I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
